Are YOU a Global Nomad?

Hello there. I've written this article about today's fastest-growing youth sub-culture — Third Cuture 'Kids' -- or Global Nomads. This is about my friend Emily. I'm sure you can relate...

Third Culture Kids: Coming of age in a global society

Seventeen-year-old former DB resident Emily St Denny can be forgiven for being a little unsure of ‘who’ she is; the chronology of her life reads like a flip through an atlas. “Born in Beijing, two years in Yugoslavia (where my sister was born), then three years in Kenya. At the age of eight we moved to Hong Kong where I spent seven years of my life. Two-and-a-half years ago we moved back to France and this is where we still are. There are plans to study in England next year, or maybe Scotland...” And there’s more: her mother is French, her father is American, and she has one more sister who hasn’t had a peripatetic life, and often wonders what her oldest sister’s concerns about identity are all about. Welcome to the world of a ‘Third Culture Kid’.

This term (shortened to TCK) was coined in the 1960s by Drs. Ruth and John Useem, who used it to define the experience of primarily immigrant children growing up between two cultures: their culture of ‘origin’ (or that of their parents), and the place they were currently living. In today’s global society, the TCK term also refers to children who have traveled a lot and who are ‘culturally blended’; familiar with many cultures and not as familiar with the culture of the parents. It has been said that Third-Culture Kids represent the single fastest growing population in the world today.

When asked how she views herself, in terms of culture, Emily replies, “No culture and all cultures at the same time. I have been influenced by the places I've known and the people I've met and come to love, still there isn't enough of one specific culture to give it a specific origin. I think there are two parts to what has built up my culture: the first is that I've traveled and thus have seen what else there is, that aspect of my life has broadened my mind; the second is that even when stationed for a long time (seven years in HK) I haven’t given up on what I know. Living in Asia doesn't make you forget Africa and now, even in Bordeaux, I'll never forget any of the places I've traveled to.”

Different times in the growing-up years of a TCK will have a different effect. For example, when talking about the problem TCKs can face ‘fitting in’, Emily describes her time in Hong Kong (and living in the expat enclave of Discovery Bay) with fondness. “Hong Kong is such an international city that where I came from didn't affect my ‘fitting in’, since after all, no one in my surroundings was entirely from Hong Kong. The fact I spoke both French and English made my integration a lot easier. Hong Kong is so full of foreigners makes it simpler to fit in. Living in DB especially makes fitting in for an English-speaking person easy as pie.”

But returning to her mother’s home country of France, which Emily knew would probably be her ‘last stop’ before adulthood, brought up real concerns. Even after two years in Bordeaux, Emily says “I am a stranger in France, I speak the language, eat the food and pay in Euros but France is simply an intermediate place I have to be simply because I'm not old enough to leave yet. I said that fitting in Hong Kong was easy and I believe that was so because I was inserted at a young age and my friends where still with me as the years went by. Now I realise that at every important age, every important stage of socialisation I ever had was cut short by either my moving to another country or even simply changing schools. Now at the age of 17, I must have the social capacity of a 10 year old. I don't fit in because what ever ‘me’ had worked in HK doesn’t work here…There are simply certain aspects of the French that I cannot comprehend and that sometimes gets the wires crossed.” On the surface, this last remark seems remarkable given that Emily’s mother is French!

Leslie Lewis, a Hong Kong-based psychologist and counselor who has made TCK study her passion, says that it quite common for parents to minimize their children’s sense of confusion regarding where they fit in. “Expat parents assume that their own culture is their children’s culture. They make a huge mistake in calling, for example, the UK ‘home’. They make plans to spend each summer at ‘home’. They don’t understand that their children have different ideas about what ‘home’ is.” Lewis says this problem comes up in different ways. For example, when it is time to leave a place, parents will often minimize the present place of residence in order to have their children look forward to a new beginning. In doing so, the parents are weakening their child’s sense of identity since so many formative experiences will have happened to that child in the place the parents are now trying to play down.

Emily explains her sense of home thus: ‘Moving around has taken away any chance of a stable home. When I was told we were moving again, I was told it was to settle down, that the house we'd live in would probably be the last house my parents would have. Now only three years into our stay not only am I probably going to move, but my parents too are itching to leave to a warmer place. I have no home. I move to a place and live there only in wait for a new one. I know France isn't the place I want to be ‘home’, at least Bordeaux isn't. That is why I believe moving to the UK might help, simply because I keep moving in hope that one day, I'll find the place I'll never want to leave completely again. However I cannot deny that my parents have given me such a love for traveling that even when I'm older, autonomous, I'll probably take nice long vacations in places I've not yet seen.”

“It is not hard to understand the downside of being a TCK,” says Lewis, referring to the common anxieties that any child would face when moving homes, even simply to a different neighbourhood. But these issues are compounded when a child is put into a different culture, and must deal with language issues and cultural differences, and finding themselves in a new place in society. These things are a consideration, regardless of the size of the familiar expat enclave. Lewis suggests that there are various things parents can do to minimize these issues, such as visiting the place ahead of time for a ‘look-see’, or moving a month before school starts, so the children can familiarize themselves with the new place. Perhaps the new school can provide an email ‘buddy’ to correspond with before departure, so the child will have a friend waiting for them.

But Lewis and other TCK experts agree that the advantages of being a ‘child of the world’ outweigh the disadvantages, if the parents can help the children see the opportunity they’ve been given. “I think TCKs would make the best politicians in the world. We need more people like them.” When raised by open-minded parents who see for themselves the opportunities of a mobile lifestyle, TCKs “have a sensitivity; an awareness of cross-cultural issues. They are more accepting and more comfortable internationally. They are well-traveled and multi-lingual, astute and cross-culturally enriched.” Lewis points out that the overwhelming majority of TCKs continue the transient lifestyle as adults. And while it is reported that TCKs have a sense of making and losing friends quickly, Lewis’ studies show that TCKs stay in close contact with the friends they have made along the way. Today, more than ever, TCKs can be reminded that, while they may not identify with any one culture, they are a part of the growing ‘culture’ of people the world over, who feel at home in many places, and consider themselves a part of all of them.

Parents who may be going through the growing pains of their ’third culture’ child can take heart by the thoughts of Emily’s recollections about her final move into adulthood. “My family life is hectic. Since we moved around so much, my younger sister (aged 14) and I were moved up a grade. This made us both grow up faster... My youngest sister, has spent more time in French school that in the English system and can be considered a full-fledged French person. Also we have to take into account the fact that we moved when all three children were at a ‘tender’ age, not making us any easier to manage. My mother, who is French, is perfectly at home and although my dad speaks with an accent, he has made his place where we are.”

“We adapt. That is what we've always done. It's become the basic survival capacity of the family, so apart from maybe making our teenage crises worse than where they could have been, my family has survived the moving. Actually it has more than survived, my family has thrived on it. We know more than the usual person; we can take steps back and think about everything we've seen, every new place we moved to can be considered a blessing. The travel has largely broadened my sight, it has made me perhaps wiser than certain other children my age—different certainly—and perhaps that's what stops me from being the social ‘whatnot’ I once wished to become. It has helped me understand certain things and filled me with compassion because I've seen what goes on in Africa, the misery and the filth. It fills me with pride — childish perhaps—because I've seen a dragon dance and walked on the Great Wall. It has made me ‘me’ and even when I'm stationed somewhere for a while, my traveling still helps. It has sharpened my curiosity and unleashed my dreaming. I feel truly lucky to know what most others don’t. I think my life will forever be dictated by my memories of travel and shaped by future voyages.”